1 August · for you
I've started this about six times now and every version came out sounding like it was trying too hard, so I'm just going to write it the way I'd say it to you at two in the morning. I don't think you actually know what you did. I met you and my whole life quietly got better, my mood, my work, how I sit with my family, how I handle a bad week. You just started being there, and everything got easier to carry. That's the part I can't explain properly to anyone else.....
And the things I'm going to keep aren't the big ones. It's you falling asleep mid-sentence while I'm still talking, and me staying on the call long after, doing nothing. It's the valo clips you save up for me. It's you telling me the story behind every single photo, It's a whole day spent doing absolutely nothing that somehow ends up being one of the best days. Anyone can plan a good weekend, baby. This other stuff is the part I'm proud of.
Now let me be shameless for a minute. Your eyes. Hazelnut brown, and I have looked at a lot of things in my life, nothing has come close, I'm not saying it to be sweet, I'm saying it like a fact. Your eyebrows, the way they move before your mouth does and give you away every single time. That stubby little nose, don't even get me started, it is the most ridiculous adorable thing and I want to squish it every time I look at you. And then the smile. Not the polite one, the real one, the one that shows up when you have properly forgotten to be careful. Your happy face is my favourite thing in this world, baby. I would do very stupid things to keep it there.
And then there is you being an absolute brat about all of it. Being unreasonable on purpose, arguing about things you already know you are wrong about, full tantrum, full attitude, and then looking at me to check if it landed. It never lands. I just see my cutiee and end up loving you more, apne aap, I can't even help it. And the same girl who does all that turns around and gives me more love than I know what to do with. You wait for me. I wait for you. That is the shape of our whole life right now, two people waiting, and somehow I don't mind it even a little. And now my baby has gone and become an actual kitty, ears and all. My kitty. Little little kitty, only mine.
What I want you to feel today is safe. That's the whole thing. That there is one person who is completely on your side, who finds you funny and stubborn and soft under all of it, and who is not keeping score of anything. Every day I think okay, that's it, that's the full amount of love I have for this girl and the next day there's more sitting there waiting. I've stopped being surprised by it. So: happy Girlfriend Day, my Stutuuuu my baby my cutie my princess my pookie my kaju kaatli my rasmalai my kitty my bae mera bacha meri bachuuuuuuuuu i love you 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝.
— your Nobu
and this one, obviously